​NEWCASTLE PUBS

“There Is An Ancient Celtic Axiom That Says ‘Good People Drink Good Beer.’ Which Is True, Then As Now. Just Look Around You In Any Public Barroom And You Will Quickly See: Bad People Drinking Bad Beer. Think About It.” – Hunter S. Thompson

We're here to tell you what we think of Newcastle's sad drinking scene, specifically  what to avoid and why.  Of course if you want to see the best, visit the late lamented BurglarsDog or buy a copy of the book - it's still the  definitive guide to a night on the razz in Newcastle. Go on, get off your fat arse now and buy Mark's book. Click on the link to the left....

 

Unlike 'the dog' most pub reviews are thoroughly dishonest.   Sites like pubsnewcastle.com engage in toadying hagiography of bars so vile that anyone other than a meths necking alcoholic would drink leper spit rather than chancing their guts with a pint of badly kept John Smiths or their faces with an idly placed punch. 

 

You don't believe me..... well you're an idiot, go into the Black Garter, then [if you survive, a 50-50 prospect at best] look at the pubsnewcastle.com review;

 

'Large traditional Newcastle pub that is best described as the bar with a heart in the heart of the city'.

 

WHAT.?.?.are we talking about the same pub; a sticky carpeted fight-fest full of reeking alcoholics who'd give a tramp a blowjob for a half of John Smiths ?  Are you blind or stupid ?  Without a night on Frosty Jack's no-one with an IQ higher than their waist size could write that statment.  But ......... we're different. We're here to tell you what to avoid. Which pubs are filled with thugs and drunks, which will serve you a pint of linecleaner. We're here to help.....honest.