I think it was Mencken who described Las Vegas as looking like heaven to someone who couldn’t read. That explain the attraction of the hideous Popworld to the illiterate dross who spend their evenings spewing in the fabled Bigg Market. I suspect that a quick literacy test of an average customer might well give a combined reading age and IQ below their shoe size. C’mon you’d have to be brain damaged to venture into this midden. It’s has all of the charm of walking through a pinball machine with a hangover.


Not even a warm up bar for the charmless cavern that is Blu Bambu [though the spelling suggests some involvement, the functionally illiterate deliberately mis-spelling the name so as not to frighten off customers with posh correct spelling]. This rancid flea pit only serves as a warm up for a fight on the bus home - no fear of taxis for this establishment’s customers, or possibly a quick shag over a litter bin.


A DJ desperately trying to ensure that the customers are ‘having fun’ [sic] blasts out crap dance singles at volumes which could be used to cut holes in granite - hopefully the granite skulls of the potato headed underclass that mingles with out of town hen parties. Hen parties filled with braying hags, crammed into dresses which give them all of the charm of a see through sack filled with anvils. At least they’ll be taking something of Newcastle home with them; syphilis, some bodily fluids and another Shazza to join the collection of brats bred from fifteen different fathers.


Now usually even the most vile temple to Bacchus will usually have the odd seat so that it’s customers can plonk their fat chip filled arses onto something to take the load off their brains as they drain another pint of diesel. Not here, this is vertical drinking at its worst, the sort of shithole that might, just might be used by a crypto fascist home office minister to make sure that we all have to sit in highchairs and use ration cards before we drink. Bugger that, lets hope that it gets the same treatment as the fabled Amigos on Mosely Street. Matches anyone ?